The latest thing I sneezed up got front page again (Thanks Mr.Fulp!). After some people expressed confusion and frustration with the game I decided to put a cheat sheet together for the fun things.

Remember: each choice generates a number between between its max roll and its min roll and if the luck stat is greater than or equal to that number you get the best result.

Merry Christmas everyone!
 

Dead Horse
==========
Jump on it (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: 1)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Beat It (Max Roll: 15, Min Roll: 15)
-- Best Result: Win the game
-- Worst result: Nothing

Eat its face (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: -3)
-- Best Result: Health +3
-- Worst Result: Health -3

Poke it (Max Roll: 50, Min Roll:1)
-- Best Result: Max Health +1
-- Worst Result: Nothing

Cheese
==========
Eat It (Max Roll: 2, Min Roll: -5)
-- Best Result: Health + 5
-- Worst Result: Attack -1

Tear It Apart (Max Roll: 15, Min Roll -3)
-- Best Result: Luck +2
-- Worst Result: Summon Rat

Jump In It (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll:3)
-- Best Result: Attack +1
-- Worst Result: Nothing

Throw It (Max Roll: 15, Min Roll -3)
--Best Result: Luck +2
--Worst Result: Health -3

Lava
==========
Stare At It (Max Roll: 7, Min Roll 1)
-- Best Result: Health +3
-- Worst Result: Nothing

Pee In It (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: -1)
-- Best Result: Attack + 1
--Worst Result: Summon Bad Ghost

Jump In (Max Roll: 5000, Min Roll: 3)
-- Best Result: Luck +50 (Why not?)
--Worst Result: Game Over

Touch It (Max Roll: 200, Min Roll: -1)
-- Best Result: Luck +5
--Worst Result: Max Health -3

Glowing Potion
==========
Drink It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -5)
-- Best Result: All Stats +3
--Worst Result: All Stats -3

Throw It (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: 1)
-- Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Health -2

Smash It (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: 1)
-- Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Health -10

Eat The Cork (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: 0)
-- Best Result: Health +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Hamster In A Microwave
==========
Turn it On (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: 3)
-- Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Summon Vegan (Probably should have had a medal for this- but then the vegans would have come after me)

Eat The Hamster (Max Roll: 3, Min Roll: 1)
-- Best Result: Health +3
--Worst Result: Health -1

Get In (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 1)
-- Best Result: Luck +5
--Worst Result: Game Over

Pet It (Max Roll: 20 Min Roll: 0)
-- Best Result: Max Health +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Mushroom
==========
Eat It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: -10)
--Best Result: Max Health +3
--Worst Result: Acid (If you are epileptic: look away)

Jump On It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -19)
--Best Result: Acid
--Worst Result: Health -3

Pee On It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -19)
--Best Result: Luck +1
--Worst Result: Luck -1

Lick It (Max Roll: 3, Min Roll: -1)
--Best Result: Acid
--Worst Result: Attack -1

Bleach
==========
Dump It Out (Max Roll: 300, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Health +20
--Worst Result: Nothing

Drink It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: -10)
--Best Result: Luck +5
--Worst Result: Game Over

Dump It On Self (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: -10)
--Best Result: Max Health +10
--Worst Result: Game Over

Pee In It (Max Roll: 50, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: All Stats +5
--Worst Result: Game Over

Chocolate Niblet Beans (Look up the animutation!)
==========
Eat Them (Max Roll: 50, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Health +3

Smear Them (Max Roll: 15, Min Roll: -3)
--Best Result: Luck +1
--Worst Result: Luck -1

Eat the Bag (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: -5)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Max Health -3

Smear on Self (Max Roll: N, Min Roll: N)
--Best Result: N
--Worst Result: Summon Random Enemy

Big Red Button
==========

Press It (Max Roll: 21, Min Roll: -19)
--Best Result: Health +3
--Worst Result: Summon Angry Muffin

Throw Rock (Max Roll: 31, Min Roll: -9)
--Best Result: Health +3
--Worst Result: Nothing

Pull Button Out (Max Roll: 21, Min Roll: -19)
--Best Result: Blank
--Worst Result: Luck -1

Lick It (Max Roll: 31, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Max Health +5
--Worst Result: Health -3

Candle
==========
Watch it (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Health +3
--Worst Result: Nothing

Blow it out (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Luck +1
--Worst Result: Summon GHOST.WRK

Pee on It (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Heal
--Worst Result: Summon Bad Ghost

Touch It (Max Roll: 3, Min Roll: -20)
--Best Result: Health -1
--Worst Result: Health -10

Rock
==========

Throw It (Max Roll: 15, Min Roll: 5)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Summon Random Enemy

Eat It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Heal +1
--Worst Result: Attack -1

Jam In Forehead (Max Roll: 120, Min Roll: 5)
--Best Result: Attack +5
--Worst Result: Luck -3

Screech at it (Max Roll: 100, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Mass of Spiders
==========

Blow on It(Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: -10)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Health -1

Stomp On It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Eat It (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: -30)
--Best Result: Health +3
--Worst Result: Game Over

Stick Paw In It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: -5)
--Best Result: Luck +4
--Worst Result: Health -10

First Aid Kit
==========

Use It (Max Roll: 50, Min Roll: 5)
--Best Result: Strength +1
--Worst Result: Health +1

Drink the Peroxide (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -5)
--Best Result: Luck +4
--Worst Result: Health -19

Dump Onto Self (Max Roll: 200, Min Roll: -3)
--Best Result: Attack +10
--Worst Result: Health -3

Bang On It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -19)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Summon Random Enemy

Cookies
==========
Eat Them (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: All Stats +1
--Worst Result: Attack -1

Eat One  (Max Roll: 2, Min Roll: -3)
--Best Result: Health +1
--Worst Result: Attack -1

Eat All But One (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -3)
--Best Result: Health +10
--Worst Result: Attack -1

Eat The Plate (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Health +1

Banana
==========

Eat It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 5)
--Best Result: Luck +1
--Worst Result: Health +2

Stomp On It(Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: -9)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Luck -1

Eat The Peel (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: -1)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Max Health -3

Smear On Forehead (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 5)
--Best Result: All Stats +1
--Worst Result: Nothing


Turd
==========

Screech at It (Max Roll: 5, Min Roll: -20)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Summon Average Human

Roll In It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Max Health +3
--Worst Result: Health -3

Tear It Apart (Max Roll: 100, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: All Stats +3
--Worst Result: Nothing

Eat It (Max Roll: 15, Min Roll: -14)
--Best Result: Health +1
--Worst Result: Max Health -3

Toilet
==========

Use It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: -29)
--Best Result: Health +2
--Worst Result: Nothing

Poop In The Tank (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: 3)
--Best Result: Luck +1
--Worst Result: Summon Geriatric Cyborg

Drink From It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: -29)
--Best Result: Health +3
--Worst Result: Health -2

Flush Self (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: -20)
--Best Result: Max Health +1
--Worst Result: Game Over

Pizza
==========

Eat It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: -19)
--Best Result: Health +10
--Worst Result: Health -3

Roll In It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Max Health +3
--Worst Result: Health -5

Eat The Crusts (Max Roll: 200, Min Roll: -20)
--Best Result: All Stats +3
--Worst Result: Health +1

Eat The Topping Separately (Max Roll: 9001, Min Roll: 9002)
--Best Result: Win The Game
--Worst Result: Game Over

Empty Box
==========

Sit In It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Health +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Stomp On It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Health -1

Pretend It’s a Racecar (Max Roll: 2, Min Roll: -10)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Health -15

Hide In It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Luck +2
--Worst Result: Nothing


TV
==========

Watch It (Max Roll: 20, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +3
--Worst Result: Game Over

Smash The Screen (Max Roll: 10, Min Roll: -20)
--Best Result: Nothing
--Worst Result: Health -10


Screech At It (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Attack +1
--Worst Result: Nothing

Turn It Off (Max Roll: 30, Min Roll: 0)
--Best Result: Luck +1
--Worst Result: Summon Tyquatt The All Consuming (If you beat him you will win the game)